Body Image

I seem to be having issues lately in seeing my self thinner.  To me, a 1x looks the same as a 4x when I look in the mirror.  I pasted this on facebook a couple of days agao, a good suggestion was to compare photos.  Here are a some to put things in perspective for me I guess.

My heaviest @ 324

Me @ 280- 260

Me @ 250-230

Me @ 220

I just needed to see this!

100 lbs lost!!!!

It took me a little while but I finally did it!  I have lost 100 lbs to date!  I have 54 lbs to go to my goal of 170.  I just have to remind myself that is is not a race but a journey, and I'll get there eventually!

I started this journey at 324lbs, wearing a size 30/32/4x clothes.  Since then I have gone down to 18/20/2x clothes with those starting to get a little big.  I wore a size 16 skirt and 1x shirt to church last sunday.  I really never thought I would see those sizes again in my lifetime.  Clothes really depend on the style.  I'm big breasted so I wear 2x shirts and some 18/20 button downs are still tight. 

We had a clothes drive at chruch last month. I donated 6 lbs of clothes from just me, along with 6 more bags from the rest of the family.  Talk about losing a whole wardrobe!  I told hubby today I'm running out of clothes, he just smiles.

Speaking of my hubby, he is sooo supportive.  He tells me everyday how hot I'm looking.  He even said I was getting too thin. I just laughed at him then I told him that I was only 16 lbs heavier than him, lol!!!!!!  Now he's talking about getting in shape for ME!?!?!  Wow!  For so long, I felt like it was the other way around.

I go to the dr for my 6 month check up.  He said he wanted me at 200lbs which I thought was ridiculous.  the NUT and RN said I should be at 220.  So I have 4 lbs to go in 2 weeks and I'm crossing my fingers!!! My weight loss has slowed down after the first 3 months but I'm okay with that.  Its coming off and I do take my measurements so I see results even when the scale doesn't move.  And yes, I weight and measure myself every morning.

So I'm 2/3 of the way to my goal.  So close I can almost taste it!

I just wanted ya'll to know!

I've lost 90 lbs, and I have 100 followers now on my scrapbooking blog!!!!! Yeah!!!! I want to shout it from the top of the Empire State Building (waiting for 100 before I go to the moon to shout it, lol)!!!

I was thinking some blog candy is in order and motivation for me. I'm gonna keep posting my wt loss updates until I hit 100 lbs. Everyone who comments on these posts until then will be eligible to win the candy. I'm thinking gift certificate from Michael's along with some other goodies!!! One for you and one for me :)     You can leave your comments on here and on my scrapbooking blog ScrapBook Blessings  for more chances to win.

My stall broke!

My stall finally broke!!!!  It has been two weeks of jumping between 240-242lb.  I was so excited to 239 this morning!  It has been very frustrating and before, I would have said "chuck it, I'll eat what I want", but with WLS, I counldn't do that and that alone is worth going through surgery.

I went shopping yesterday at Fashion Bug.  It was very exciting to not have to go to the 3/4x racks.  I took a moment just looking at them.  It was a surreal moment.  I took a bunch of 2x shirts in with me and guess what?!?! Some of them were too big, "what the heck, noway!"   So my next trip I took both 1/2x!  Some fit, most didn't but it was great to be able to try them on.

The other thing I saw was the dreaded bathing suits.  But you know what?  I don't think I'm dreading them this summer.  I say that now, we'll see when it comes time to putting them on, lol!

Only 70 to go!!!!

I'm finally getting to the down ward slope of this journey. Today is my 3 month appt since surgery. I weigh 240 lbs! I was in college the last time I weighed this much! The weigh does seem to be slowing down but luckily, I take my measurements. So even if I don't see the pounds coming off, I see inches and my clothes fit better. My goal is 170 lbs. I think that is achievable and realistic for me right now, so I only have 70 more lbs to go. Yep, that means I've lost 84 lbs to date with 51 of them being after surgery.

When I started this journey, I was wearing 30/32/4x pants and shirts. I now were 18/20/2x sizes! Can't wait to get to the 14/16s!!! I'm also exercising every other day at my mom's/ She has a Gazelle, recumbent bike and tread mill. I do 15 min on each. I'm even at .82 miles on the treadmill in 15 min. My goal is a 15 min mile! I don't feel comfortable exercising at the gym by myself yet. I feel like everyone is watching and comparing each other. This is probably my insecurities but I'll get there, it will just be in my timing.

Hubby and my family is very happy with my progress. Hubs even said once that I wasn't plus size any more but chunky, lol. Thanks for the compliment honey... I think, lol. I also put up a picture on Facebook and he said I have to stop losing weight because he is starting to drawf me. I say THANK YOU GOD!!! LOL Here is the picture I put up.

 I was 253 lbs here and have lost 13 since but I think we make a good looking family :)

What are you doing?

This is a question that I get from some people. And the truth be told, not everyone know that I've had surgery. There are some in my family that are not supportive and would only ridacule and talk about me, in front and behind my back. Do I want to lie and say, "Oh, just diet and exercise." No and I have shared my process with people who care about me and who asked for help.

 Here is an answer that I gave in an email to a family member who asked. This is everything that I do, the only part that I didn't add was that my stomach holds 6-8oz of food at one time. This volume will fill me up and keep me full for a couple of hrs. Also I don't have an appetite, due to not having  100% of the Ghrelin hormone that produced in the stomach.  Also, if I eat slider foods ie: ice cream, chips, dips, crakers, chocolate, etc, I can eat more than 6 oz, and I will be hungry shortly. I still fight with head hunger but thankfully that seems to be around my period.

Lol, Thanks! I'm not taking anything. I had my gall bladder/hernias removed before the holidays. It had 50 stones and I was in a lot of pain for the last 2-3 years. With that, I follow a gall bladder diet which is just a low fat diet.


What I do... ( I got these tips from a nutritionist at the hosp but you can find out more by googling Gall Bladder die)
-No pop ( stopped in April) I drink 48 oz water or Gatorade (G2)
-I eat lean protein, chicken, turkey, shrimp, tilapia, sometimes pork, couldn't tell you the last time I had steak.
-I eat my veggies second, sweet potato instead of mashed potatoes, no corn.
-I stay away from the bread, buns, rolls, cake, ice cream (my trigger foods, can't seem to stop at one)
-For my sweets, I will eat 1-2 cookies, and I love the Weight Watcher Fudge Bars ( tastes like a frosty) and Raspberry chocolate bar or FF chocolate pudding with whip topping
-I eat breakfast every morning, usually a yogurt or Kashi cereal with skim milk
-I keep my fat intake for 1 food lower that 10 grams, carbs lower that 20. Meaning if it has 14 grams of fat a serving, I don't buy it or if the carbs are 50, then I eat half a serving
- I eat small portions, 6-8oz, 6 meals a day.
- When we go out, I share with 1 or 2 of the kids or bring home half my meal, everytime.
- I eat whatever I want at parties and the holidays, but I only take a taste of everything, ex: last party had chips, spinach dip, buffalo chicken dip, pizza, pasta bake, cookies, mud pie, potato skins. I ate half a potato skin with sour cream, half the pizza crust, all the toppings, a TB of all three dips with half a hand full of chips, two cookies ( after my meal when everyone was eating dessert). I skipped the pasta bake and mud pie. I also drank water instead of the pop and punch, didn't want to drink my calories.- I also track my food, not daily but often.

- I started 15 min on the treadmill and 15 min on the bike and I HATE every bit of those 30 mins but it is working and I'm seeing results.

I've lost 75 lbs (doing Weight Watchers Online) before but gained it all back. My body just hords calories and fat. I had to make these changes, or I was going to die and the pain was getting unbearable and I have to work full time. I couldn't see Chris being a widow with three toddlers, kwim? I hope this helps. It's not fun but I need to lose this weight. Having Mom and Cyndi on board makes it easier,and Don has lost 100 lbs and kept it off for 3-4 years now. He helps with the motivation alot. I guess as a family we're just trying to get healthy.

Hugs! 

Halfway there!!!!

Well, I got on the scale today and it read 246!  I've lost 78 lbs ( 45 lb) since surgery on Oct 25th.  So that mean I have 76 lbs to go before I reach my goal of 170.  Don't have that many before pics, wonder why??? lol

Here I am at my highest wt of 324






Here I am at 312



Now I've lost 78 lbs! 






I feel so blessed.  I was able to go through my clothes and have donated 5 garbage bags full, and God is still providing for me :)   I think today, I finally realized how much I lost.  I was trying on clothes and mom wanted me to try on a size 18.  I was like, no way!  My butt is tooo big and I'll rip them.  She laughed and said to do it anyway.  And THEY FIT!!!!  I was over the moon and then we took today's pictures, and I'm in shock.

My Ah-ha Moment

Well actually, I had two ah-ha moments, one before surgery and one after. My wake up was our vacation in July of this year. We went to a beach and shared a condo with family. My husband and I slept on the pull out sofa for two nights. I just wanted to die! The pain I felt in my back, hip and legs was unbearable. On the last night, he went and bought an air mattress but the damage was done. I was in full- blown pain.

Hubby went and got me some pain meds but all he could find (that I wasn't allergic to) was a night time one that made me drowsy and loopy. So here I am, at the beach, under the umbrella, feeling like Shamu, watching my family members play with my kids. I felt so helpless, useless and fat! On that beach, in NJ, was the moment I promised myself that I was gonna get myself under control before I died and let my family without at wife and mommy.

When we got home, I called the Bariatric Center at my hospital and the rest was history. Everything just came together. God was directing my steps. From start to finish, my surgery process was 3 months. I started at 324 lbs on that beach and this weekend I reached my holiday goal of 255 lbs. That makes a 71 lb loss, and a gain of energy and best of all NO PAIN!!!!

But my second ah-ha moment was over this weekend also. I had a mini break down. My husband taped the kids Christmas program at church ( by the way, they were just the cutest and blessed my heart) but he put it after our 5 yr old's first day of kindergarten. He was real excited when I came home to show me. Something like," you got to see this, see how much weight you lost!!!!", excetra.

I was watching me on this tape, and I just wanted to weep. I think I am still shell-shocked. To think that was me on the tv just broke my heart. I was a dead woman walking. Even now, I can't believe how much I was fooling myself. Never in a million years did I see myself so big.

I thank God that I had this opportunity to change my life.

My Weight Chart

Almost 2 months out for me and I've lost 33 lbs since surgery, which was Oct 25 (figured I would update now because next week will be CRAZY!!!).  I weighed in at 258!!! So I'm in the 250s now, very excited!  When I first started, I wore a size 30/32, bra size 50H, panties 12 and shoes 10 1/2, sometimes 11. Now I am wearing 22/24 tops, 22 reg or 20W bottoms, bra size 44DDD, panties 10 and shoes 9-9 1/2!!!  I can't wait for the next two months!!!

I am a bit of a scale junkie, get on daily but only record my losses.  I also set mini goals for me. Like the first month, I wanted to lose 20 lbs.  Goals work good for me, gives me something to work towards.  If I don't met a goal, it gets me back on track, and I can analyze what happened and learn from it.  My next goal, well actually I have three :)   First, I want to be 255 by Christmas, only 4lbs away now.  Second, I want to be 250 by the end of the year, 9 lbs to go.  Third, I want to be 244lb by Jan 28th, that is my 3 month check up at the dr, and I would have lost 33% of my excess wt, which is my dr's goal for me at that time.

My Weight Chart:


# Date Weight


1 12/16/2010 258.0
2 12/15/2010 259.0
3 12/10/2010 260.0 Edit
4 12/07/2010 262.0 Edit
5 12/05/2010 263.0 Edit
6 12/04/2010 264.0 Edit
7 12/02/2010 265.0 Edit
8 12/01/2010 266.0 Edit
9 11/20/2010 268.0 Edit- 23 lbs lost first month after WLS (wt loss surgery)
10 11/19/2010 269.0 Edit
11 11/16/2010 271.0 Edit
12 11/13/2010 273.0 Edit
13 11/10/2010 275.0 Edit
14 11/09/2010 276.0 Edit
15 11/05/2010 277.0 Edit
16 11/02/2010 278.0 Edit
17 11/01/2010 279.0 Edit
18 10/31/2010 280.0 Edit
19 10/30/2010 281.0 Edit
20 10/29/2010 285.0 Edit- 6 lbs lost after surgery- fluid wt
21 10/25/2010 286.0 Edit- Vertical Gastric sleeve surgery (291 when I left hospital and my "surgery" wt)
22 10/19/2010 288.0 Edit
23 10/16/2010 289.0 Edit
24 10/15/2010 291.0 Edit
25 10/12/2010 294.0 Edit
26 10/11/2010 296.0 Edit
27 10/09/2010 298.0 Edit
28 10/04/2010 299.0 Edit
29 10/03/2010 300.0 Edit
30 09/26/2010 303.0 Edit
31 09/24/2010 304.0 Edit
32 09/23/2010 305.0 Edit
33 09/21/2010 306.0 Edit
34 09/17/2010 310.0 Edit
35 08/12/2010 316.0 Edit
36 08/10/2010 317.0 Edit
37 08/08/2010 318.0 Edit
38 08/07/2010 319.0 Edit
39 07/31/2010 324.0 Edit -My highest weight ever/ called the Bariatric Center and scheduled an appt

Thanksgiving and the VGS = fun times!!!

This is the best decision I have ever made for me and my family. I am 5 weeks out and lost 25 lbs as of today (266 lbs)! That makes a total of 58 lbs lost after my pre-op diet starting Aug 1st (324lbs 4 months ago).

I started with 30/32 pants and shirts, 4-5x shirts, 50 DDD bra, 10 1/2 shoe. Now I am in 22/24 clothes, 2-3x shirts, 44 DDD and get this... a size 9 shoe and high heels to boot!!!!! I am a shopaholic, lol. The biggest thing that I am over the moon about though, is that I am pain free!!! I've had hip, back, leg, joint pain for the last 5 yrs. I have so much energy now and have been able to play on the floor with the kiddos. I was also able to cook and host Thanksgiving dinner and it wasn't until the end of the night that fatigue set in but I felt so productive. I was running circles around hubby. Oh and I was able to help weed, rake leaves and hang Christmas light with hubby. This is the first time in a long time that I didn't feel guilty that he was doing everything around the house.

We've done Xmas shopping and he kept asking if I was okay, last year I had to keep sitting down to rest. He is amazed that I feel fine. He said that he is waiting for the hammer to drop, lol. I told him that hammer wasn't coming down anytime soon, lol.

I've had no complications with my surgery and the recovery. Everything has been text book and I go back to work Monday. I had 6 weeks off because I do lifting at work over 10 lbs. I felt ready to go back to work 2-3 weeks out but this has been a nice vacation!

After 5 weeks, protein shakes are yuck but a must have. So I just grin and bear it :) I have great restriction at 3 oz still and getting around 400 calories. I'm trying to get more, 500-600 cal, but just don't have the appetite yet. I'm getting about 32-48 oz water so that's still not quite there yet either. What else??? Oh, exercise! That is a hit or miss but I'm going to start going to the gym. My work has a free state of the art one for employees. I didn't go before because I was sooo embarrassed!!! Like, here comes two-ton Tilly. I was the biggest person there ( 2 yrs ago).

That's me for now.

Very Thankful ( one month update)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

FROM ME TO YOU AND YOURS

I can't believe that today makes one month after surgery. I have so much to be thankful for! First, my God and family, they have been my rock though all of this. Second, for this surgery and how it has changed my life in just this short time.

I have had no complications with surgery or even recovery after. It seems very surreal right now, like did I really do this, but I look at the scale and see 24 lbs gone, look at my closet and see all the 30/32 size clothes gone along with most of my 26/28. I eat 3 oz of soft foods and feel full. It has become a neccessity not a way of life or enjoyment. I'm rediscovering how much fun it is to play with the kids or even do yardwork with hubby and not have pain or feel guilty that I can't help him. I could go on and on of how much more I can do now. And do you know this best part? This is just the beginning!!!!!

So today, I am a very thankful woman, enjoying the blessing that I have been given.



(If you have any doubts on if this is the path for you, please pray, let God direct your steps in this journey, then go to your Dr and tell him " I want the sleeve!!!!")

WooHoo!!!!! Going Down Down Down!

I went to the Dr for my two week follow up which is actually 18 days, but we won't go there. My labs are perfect (very early yet) and I'm getting water, protein and vitamins in no problem. I weighed in too and wanted to do the happy dance. I lost 15.5 lb since surgery on Oct 25th and a grand total of....

Wow!  I've lost 50 lbs from August 1st and that doesn't count loosing the extra water weight from surgery.  The nurse said they wanted 10% the first two weeks and I was at 11% (which is 274lbs).  She also said I can expect to loose an additional 40-50 lbs in 3 months!?!?!?!  My mind is having a hard time wrapping around that one!  That would put me around 225lb and the last time I saw that number was in college. I'm also on the next stage of my diet.  I can eat soft, pureed foods.  Protein has to be first, 6 sm meals which are 3-4oz, over 48 oz water and exercise (I love my Wii Fit).

We went out to eat tonight, too.  That was an experience, a "freeing" one!  We went to a favorite Mexican restaurant.  The hubby and the kiddos had the salsa and chips, I wasn't even tempted.  The kids had their meals which for them is usually half.  I will never tell my children they have to clean their plates!  Hubby had chimichangas and refried beans. I don't think he realized that was the only meal I ever order (he never did before) but I was okay with that!  I took 3 teaspoons of the beans and small bite of shredded chicken and beef each.  I took my time, chew well and it was delicious.  I swear it was the Mexican I've ever had, lol!!!  It took me about 30 min to eat and I was pleasantly full, satisfied, and no pain or nausea.  I love this new sleeve!!!   What gets me is that the meal I had would have been 1 and 1/2 bites of a meal before surgery.  No lie!!! I really appreciated my "meal" tonight!

One week down...

I can't believe its been a week already!!! Time goes by fast when you are having fun, lol.

Monday was surgery, I was out of it all day, Woke up in my room and hubby said I was hitting the morphin pump every 6 min, lol.

Tuesday, I was still on that morphin pump, It was my hospital BFF, lol. Started to get up and walk and it was very uncomfortable. I like walking at night. It was quiet, no people or other obsticals on the floor and I got some one on one time with nurses and they would walk with me, keep ing my mind off the pain.

Wednesday was my downhill hump day. The nurses didn't know much about sleeve patients. I had a nausea patch on the one of the nurses took off of me whn I was sleeping. They then told be to get up and walk but I wasn't feeling good. My mom was helping me and I started dry heaving and trying not to throw up. My husband and mom where yelling for help, nuirsing running, mass confusion. My husband asked where my patch was and the nurse said she took it off. They gave me something through my iv and I slept for 3 hrs. At this point my family wanted me out of the hospital asap! As soon as they removed the catheter, iv and JP drain, I started to feel human again.

Thursday , home sweet home, I slept in the recliner and took one pain pill. I slept a lot of thursday and was still on clear liquids. A lot of gas that day. Sip, sip, sip!!!!

Friday, I took one pain pill. Hubby convinced me to go to Target with him for the ride. When we got there, I decided to go in and walked for 30 min. I was tired then and went to sit at the food bar while he finished shopping. Still having a lot of gas, and sipping away. Focusing on walter and protien shakes right now. I like GNC Wheybolic 60 the best ( chocolate).

Saturday, feeling 100 times better!!! Went to church for kid's harvest party. I lasted 20 min and then was sooo tired. I sat at the craft table and hlps with the crafts while hubby took care of the three kids running around. Still not getting all my water in and starting to have that keytosis, iron, yuck mouth. Still trying though and I have no pain!!!!

Sunday, I decided to go to church (took my water bottle with me) and did great! I sat for praise and worship and took a nap when I we got home. No pain, put the pill away! I did a no no though!. I didn't eat before church, had 1 oz mashed potato and nap. When I got up it was go, go , go to get the kids dinner, cleanup for the Holloween guest we have, gt the kids dressed and I started burping alot, got dizzy, lightheaded, hot flashes, nausea. My mom asked what I ate and I just remember... NOTHING, no appetite and I forgot all about food!!!! That was a first!!! When the kids left for trick or treating, I had 1 oz yogurt and 3 oz protein shake and felt like a new woman!!!

Monday, I 'm home 2/3 kids ( ages 3 and 2, my 5 yr old is in school) and doing great, no pain, no nausea and feeling like 75% of my self!!! I went to the dr for blood work this morning and got weighed! My starting weight in Sept was 324lbs. My surgery weight was 292lbs (32 lost). My weight today, one wk after surgery....... 279!!!!!!!!! I lost 13 lbs in one week and a grand total of 45 lbs lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am relieved that I did this, no regrets ( I did have the what the heck feeling but it was over by Friday) I go back on the 14th for my new meal plan, Right now, I am eating yogurt, mashed potato, protein shakes, strained cream soups and sip, sip, sip that water!!!

Home from the hospital

I got home around 6:00pm. yesterday. I was able to rest ( hospital should have a sign posted...Thou shalt not let thy patients sleep)!!!

On Monday, we got the hospital at 5 am and got my iv and all the other goodies to get me ready. Surgery was at 7am. I remember sliding off the gerny onto the operating table. They put compression blow up thingies on my legs, tied my arms down and put the mask on me. Next think I remember is waking up in my hospital room. ( slept through the whole recovery room episode)

The staff were very nice but some were clueless, they kept referring my as a RYN pt not a sleeve pt. We had a lot of pt education these last couple of days, lol. Dr said everything was very smooth, liver shrank down and they didn't have to jostle my insides around.

-Here is what I noticed:
-I have no appetite
-I made them order me a binder, I walked much better with one on, the JP drain didn't feel like it was being tugged on.
-Sipping is much easier than I thought. I have to force myself actually just to get 1 oz down.
-I had so much relief when they took the JP drain out.
-Walking helps with gas pain.
-use your spirometer ( breathing into thingy) it hurts at first but helps get all the gunk out of you chest
- expect nausea and dizziness, part of the process, I eneded up dry heaving 4-5 times with family yelling help and nurses running, it was mass chaos for 15 min. The nurse put something in my iv and I was out for 3 hrs, very scary!!
- leak test sucks, but it was cool seeing the die go down into my little banana ( note--- it does not look like the cute pictures in the books, lol)

I'm home now and not having any pain but the nausea and upset stomach is not fun :( I gained 6lbs in fluid so now I'm back up to 290 ( 4 more too lose)

Thank you for all you support and prayers!!!

and GO!!!

Ready, set...

Well, the time has finally came. This is the day that God has decreed in my life, and I am walking in it. Psalm 118:24 This is the day which the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

I'm off with hubby, we have to be at the hospital at 5am and surgery is schedule for 7am. When I wake up, I will be headed to the losers bench for once and for all. Oct 25th is a new day for me, it's the first day of my new life.  I weighed myself this morning and too my measurements.  I'm 286, that's 38 lbs lost pre-op!

I am not naive to think that magically I will lose all my weight and life will be all hunky-dory. What I know is, I am given a new chance, a new "tool" that can "help" me keep my weight off. Ultimately, I am in control of what I put in my mouth and how I use this tool in the future. I just thank God that I have the opportunity to do so.

Ready, Set...

Almost Go but not yet!

It has been a very busy day. I manage to get everything I need after surgery. Now I just have to make a list of what the kids will need when I'm in the hospital. I also had a date night with hubby. We went to a fancy place with dinner music and all. I splurged for my "last" meal! Half a chicken breast, half a baked potato, a roll and three bites of a gooy, yummy dessert. It was so nce talking with hubby, we got a lot out about our fears about surgery. We both in a good place. We went to see a movie afterwards, held hands the whole time. We don't do a lot of that with three kids, 5 and under, lol.

When we got home there was a message on the machine. Hospital called and they changed my surgery time from 9am to 7 am. I have to be there at 5 am. All the butterflies came back, lol. Here's to 2 more days left!!!

T- minus 7 days

I have to give a big WooHooo! I'm at 289lbs, that 35lbs lost!!! I'm doing really good following the low fat/low carb diet. I am feeling a little limited in my food choices though. I could use some great recipes.

I had a very surreal moment today too. I love reading all the posts on the VGS board both good and bad and everything in between. I love giving encouragement and praying. Hugs and prayers have been my tag line, Why? Because I wish I could just reach out and give you all a hug to let you know I'm there for you, and prayers because, well, that's what I do. I believe if you talk the talk then you walk the walk too. But until know, it's always been the "other" people.

It finally dawned on me, "This is going to be me this time next week " By 12:30 next Monday, I will have my sleeve, be in my room, learning all over again how to eat and begin with a fresh start in life. I have to be at the hospital by 7am and surgery is 9 am.

Oh man, all I can do is say "Wow, it's happening so fast!!!" Don't get me wrong, I'm excited and rearing to go but.... well... OH MAN, WOW!!!

This song by Steve Green blessed me today, it ministered so much to me, and I hope to you too:

If the struggle you're facing
Is slowly replacing your hope
With despair
Or the process is long
And you're losing your song
In the night
You can be sure that the Lord
Has His hand on you
Safe and secure
He will never abandon you
You are His treasure
And He finds His pleasure in you

He who began a good work in you
Will be faithful to complete it
He'll be faithful to complete it
He who started the work
Will be faithful to complete it in you

Philippians 1:6 (New International Version)
⁶being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Hugs and Prayers!!!

Rockin' the Parties!!!

I am very pleased with myself tonight! My sister had her 6th annual Harvest Party. There were a ton of people there who brought a ton of food. Soups, chowders, chicken and biscuits, pumpkin pie, apple pie, donuts, smores, and on and on! I brought all the beverages. (Still having pain from gall bladder surgery on the 5th)

So here I am with all this food, knowing 1. I can't eat large amounts and 2. I can't eat 80% of what is there and still be on track for my next surgery on the 25th. So I said "Self, you can do this. You want to be healthier more than you want that pie." So I had a bowl of bean soup, a scoop of turkey sloppy joes and my water. I balanced my bowl on my plate and put the meat next to it. It looked like I had a lot of food. Then mingled while I ate. This helped me eat slower and get full faster.

 So, this party tonight kicks off the holiday season for us.  But you know what?  I really think I'm going to enjoy these holidays!  I can spend less time obsessing about food and more time congressing with those around me.  So bring on those Halloween treats, Thanksgiving dinners, and Christmas cookies, this mama is finally being set free!!!

Me and my weight

There are so many great blogs out there! And I found another one at All the Weigh.  She posted this great questionnaire she found, and I thought to do it on my blog as well. It is not always easy to put yourself out there, but I hope I can inspire someone like I have been.  Feel free to post on your own blog post. If you do, let me know so I can drop by :)

1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?  (sigh)  My highest weight was 325 lbs.  ( I was/am carrying another person around with me)  I weight 294 lbs right now.  I've lost 30 lbs to date.  My goal weight is 175lbs.  Why? Because with that weight...  it is attainable, I will be out of the plus size clothes, I will wt less than my hubby, anything smaller than that will just be gravy :)

2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight? 
My husband and children are my motivation.  They deserve a mommy/wife who isn't just trying to get by, whose sitting on the bench and watching them enjoy life.  I don't want my husband to find himself raising three children by himself because his wife died of obese related diseases.  They deserve me doing everything I can possibly do to be healthy as I can be.

3. Have you always been overweight?
 I was the "chunky" kid who became the "fat" kid who became " the biggest kid in the pack".  Looking back, I can see I made not have been the tiny girl but I was a healthy girl with a little more weight.  But my poor self esteem and body image took me down the road to bindge eatting, crash diets,to  self hatred of "why can't I be like her syndrome".  As the years have gone by, the weight had piled on.  I am the queen of Yo-Yo Diets.

4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?
Complements from my hubby is a big one for me.  Another is trying on some of my older clothes.  It's nice knowing how tight a pair of pants once were and then seeing how they just fall off of me.


5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?
Going on our next vacation at the beach and actually swim and play with the kiddos in the sand.  This past summer, I was the beached whale in black under the umbrella, wrapped in a towel. A personal goal for me is shopping at the mall.  Right now, the only place I can go is Fashion Bug.

6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?
Yes, from my family, my friends, my blogland friends.  I'm thankful for the support you guys have shown me through this journey.

7. What is your favorite exercise?
I love using my Wii Fit Plus.  It is low impact and keeps me interested.  I hope to do more as I lose weight and can move pain free.


8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?
I can't do this myself.  I need support and accountability.  I NEED to write down everything eat!!!  I need to stay away from my trigger foods ie. pizza, fried chicken, cookies, ice cream  (those are my top four, see!!! I couldn't even pick just three!!!)

9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?
see question 8, lol!!!

10. What is your strategy for losing weight?
I eat proper portions and exercise.  All my other tips are in THIS POST if you want to check them out!

 Just keeping it real...;)

Just Keep Losing....

AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I made 30 lbs!!!! I can't believe it! I'm down to 294 today and doing the happy dance. I set a goal to lose 30 before surgery, now I think I'm going to up to 35lbs. I keep thinking of Dory on Finding Nemo. remember the scene where she keeps sing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming". I say "Just keep losing, just keep losing"!

In this post HERE, I wrote about how I lost these pound and all the tips that I am learning from the nutritionist. I thought of another one today. FAST FOOD!!!!! I work in Home Health and 95% of the time, my lunches consisted of going through the drive thru and picking up "something small". Well, I haven't been to a fast food place in a month. I went on the dr's diet to shrink my liver two weeks before my gall bladder surgery. Now I'm going on two weeks after surgery, and I'm here at home not able to drive. That is a big NSV for me. My other big NSV is that I haven't drank pop in 7 months!!! I was a Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi junkie to boot! I need to go put up my new 30 lb badge!!!